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I am someone who believes that it is never too late to change. I think you absolutely are able to train a seasoned creature, on the condition that the mature being is open-minded and willing to learn. As long as the old dog is prepared to acknowledge when it was in error, and strive to be a better dog.

Alright, I confess, I am that seasoned creature. And the skill I am working to acquire, although I am a creature of habit? It is an significant challenge, a feat I have grappled with, repeatedly, for my all my days. My ongoing effort … to become less scared of huntsman spiders. My regrets to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be pragmatic about my potential for change as a human. The focus must remain on the huntsman because it is large, dominant, and the one I encounter most often. This includes on three separate occasions in the last week. In my own living space. You can’t see me, but a shudder runs through me at the very thought as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but I've dedicated effort to at least attaining a standard level of composure about them.

An intense phobia regarding spiders from my earliest years (unlike other children who find them delightful). Growing up, I had plenty of male siblings around to make sure I never had to engage with any directly, but I still panicked if one was clearly in the same room as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family unconscious, and trying to deal with a spider that had crawled on to the family room partition. I “dealt” with it by standing incredibly far away, nearly crossing the threshold (in case it ran after me), and spraying a significant portion of insect spray toward it. The spray failed to hit the spider, but it managed to annoy and disturb everyone in my house.

In my adult life, my romantic partner at the time or living with was, by default, the least afraid of spiders between us, and therefore responsible for dealing with it, while I made frightened noises and beat a hasty retreat. In moments of solitude, my tactic was simply to exit the space, douse the illumination and try to ignore its being before I had to return.

In a recent episode, I stayed at a pal's residence where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who resided within the window frame, mostly just lingering. To be less scared of it, I envisioned the spider as a 'girlie', a one of the girls, in our circle, just chilling in the sun and eavesdropping on us chat. Admittedly, it appears extremely dumb, but it worked (to some degree). Or, the deliberate resolution to become more fearless proved successful.

Regardless, I've made an effort to continue. I contemplate all the rational arguments not to be scared. I know huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I know they prey upon things like insect pests (my mortal enemies). It is well-established they are one of the planet's marvelous, harmless-to-humans creatures.

Yet, regrettably, they do continue to scuttle like that. They propel themselves in the deeply alarming and somehow offensive way conceivable. The vision of their multiple limbs carrying them at that alarming velocity triggers my caveman brain to go into high alert. They are said to only have the typical arachnid arrangement, but I believe that multiplies when they move.

But it isn’t their fault that they have unnerving limbs, and they have just as much right to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that employing the techniques of working to prevent instantly leap out of my body and flee when I see one, working to keep still and breathing, and consciously focusing about their beneficial attributes, has proven somewhat effective.

Just because they are furry beings that dart around at an alarming rate in a way that haunts my sleep, is no reason for they deserve my hatred, or my girly screams. I am willing to confess when fear has clouded my judgment and driven by irrational anxiety. It is uncertain I’ll ever make it to the “scooping one into plasticware and relocating it outdoors” phase, but you never know. There’s a few years left in this seasoned learner yet.